Travelling by Air: How to Make People Really HATE You

The holidays have a way of bringing people together...and sometimes you have to hop on a plane to be with the ones you love. In order to keep the peace, I've put together this guide on what not to do while traveling. Consider this a how [not] to guide on all things air travel.

1. Wear Perfume on the Day of Travel. You know how when you go to test various perfumes in the fragrance department and you think to yourself, "Who would wear that?!" Well, someone thinks that exact same thought about your perfume. The ol' olfactory receptors are fickle things. That's why there's so many different bottles to choose from. So go ahead, and let everyone know your personal tastes and forget about the rest of the people that have to sit in the small, metal tube with recycled air now filled with your scent.

2. Stand to the Left on the Escalator.  You know how the passing lane is the left lane when you're driving? Well, that also applies to escalator etiquette. Not all of us have lengthy layovers. Not all of us have smooth flights where you don't have to sit for 15 minute taxiing by the gate. But no big deal--let them be late--you need your space and you reserved that entire escalator step.

3. Don't take a shower on day of travel. Just wait until you get to your destination. It's not like you'll be sitting in close quarters with recycled air. Yep, totally a great idea.

4. Bring the most aromatic food you can possibly get onto the flight with you. Don't worry about getting to the airport a little early so you can snag a meal before the flight. Just grab something on the way to your gate and eat it as soon as you board. Those other passengers can just open a window.

5.  Let parents know when their kids are being....kids. They're loud. They're in your personal space. They're crying. Let the parents know their kid is being a disruptor of the peace. They probably aren't aware of it and are certainly not stressed out by (a) traveling with children, or (b) knowing everyone hates them.

6. Take as long as possible with the TSAs and security. Don't get your laptop out in advance. Don't worry about having your liquids bag packed on top so you can easily remove it at security. Wear lace up boots so that it takes as long as possible to remove and put in the bin. Let those people behind you know that you're important and the world stops for you.

7. Put your purse & other luggage in the seat right beside you at the gate...especially if you're sitting next to a charging hub. After all, you forgot your cashmere blanket to lay down so your luggage doesn't touch the floor. And, let's be honest, it's not like anyone else waiting to board the flight needs to charge their electronics before the option is taken away.

8. Prop both of your elbows up on the armrests on either side of you. The people beside you don't need any space. If they wanted an armrest, they should have booked first class.

9. Fall asleep on the flight with your open mouth pointed towards the person sitting next to you. I'm sure they want to smell your breath. Just be prepared for them to take a selfie with you while you're sleeping and post all over social media. You deserve it.

So there you have it, folks. Now you can't claim ignorance when people are giving you hateful looks because you committed one of these terrible airport/flight sins.