So we're about a month into the new school year, and I've already heard some interesting things out of my not so young lil' babies. Here's a few to make that will do one of the following (a) bring a smile to your face, (b) make you laugh out loud, or (c) shake your head wondering who's gonna take care of you when you're too old to do it yourself.
- I was in an e-mail conversation with my mother. I was telling her about an unsure thing that I was getting pretty excited about. Her response was, "Don't get your hopes up just yet. I hate to see you disappointed." Upon reading this, I giggled out loud because that was such a Mom thing to say. One of my students asked what was so funny and I replied with, "Oh, just read an e-mail from my Mom. Isn't it awesome that our moms are always there to keep us grounded?" The child responded with, "No! I hate when my Mom grounds me!" It took me a second, and then I realized the word "grounded" means something totally different when you're their age. :)
- I told the kids that the cadavers in the Body exhibit that we will be visiting on an upcoming field trip were all Asian cadavers. One of the kids pointed to a little girl who is Asian. When I told him that was inappropriate and rude, another child stood up for the girl and said, "Yeah, she's not even Asian anyway. She's probably from Korea."
- A student is making a crazy cat-like noise. I ask her why she is making that noise, and she replies that she does not know. I ask her to stop and tell her that she's distracting me. She obliges, pauses, and then asks, "Can I still make the noises in my head?" Ummm, go right ahead....
- There is a spot for students to write their middle names on today's test. A sweet little girl asked if I could look up her middle name on the computer and tell her how to spell it. I obliged thinking it was going to be some crazy name. Nope, it was a five-letter all-American name. I thought it was a fluke. Next class: another student tells me she doesn't know how to spell her middle name. Again, it was a generic all-American name. For goodness sakes people--it's your NAME. You should be able to spell it by the time you're TWELVE!!!
- Same test; new class. There is also a spot at the top to write your teacher's name. Students always have trouble writing my last name so I reminded the students that if they were having trouble with the spelling of my name they could look at the back wall. There's a big banner that has my name on it. Also, my name is in BIG letters on my desk. A student raises his hand and says, "Is that the correct way to spell your name or did you make a mistake because that's not how I spell it." No, sweetie, I know how to spell my name. Of course, I didn't say that. I just smiled and told him that was, in fact, the correct spelling.
- I cannot take credit for this one because it didn't happen in my room, but this one just had to be included. The teacher decides to give a student a visual so he can see that there are, in fact, 3 ft in 1 yd. After showing him that, she left the yard stick with him to remind him of the conversion. The student raises his hand and says, "this ruler ain't got no minutes on it." Nope, sure doesn't.
- My birthday card from a student. She loves me in spite of my country accent.
- A semi-new to America student asked me what Thanksgiving is. I explained the holiday's origin and what it means to us in the present. Finally, he said, "Ohhh, I understand. We should have a whole summer break of Thanksgiving." Yes, we should.
- Student: "Miss Floyd, my uncle told me to get a mouthful of Skittles, find a pretty girl, and tell her to come taste the rainbow." Me: "Please don't do that. Also, does your mother know your uncle told you to say that?" Student: "Oh no ma'am!".
- "If I chew gum then I won't get caught. That's why I don't chew gum."
- "Pork brains. What kind of brains are those?" Okay, Jessica Simpson.
- Me: "Did you get a hair cut? It looks nice." Kid: "Yes. My dog chewed my hair." Me: "I'm sorry, did you just say your dog chewed your hair so you had to get a hair cut?" Kid: "Yes, I gave her a treat and she was in my lap and some of the treat got in my hair." Me: "Wait, how did you get some in your hair if she was laying on your lap??" Kid: "She's a messy eater. I fell asleep and she started chewing on my hair to get the treat." Me: "Did you wake up?" Kid: "No, my Mama walked in and saw it. She just left though. She told me about it when I woke up and it was all uneven." Me: "So the dog literally chewed the hair out of your head and you didn't even wake up?" Kid: "No, I was really sleepy. But I had to even it out so I got a hair cut. I love my dog."
- Me: "You people are crazy. I'm just going to put that out there." Kids: "Well, when we have a teacher like you what do you expect. You teach us things."
- "I don't know how to add letters."
- Kid: "You don't have makeup on today, do you?" Me: "No, not today." Kid: "Aren't you leaving for the beach tonight?" Me: "Yep! I'm very excited!" Kid: "Don't forget your makeup."
